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Wrestling Shoes Size 7.5

WWE Extreme Rules 2009 PPV Review

From New Orleans, Louisiana. Original airdate: 6/07/09

US champion Kofi Kingston d. MVP, Matt Hardy & William Regal, Trouble in Paradise -- pin Regal (**1/2). This would've been more interesting without Regal. Nice match, though a bit short. I guess that means more air time for Vickie and Santina!

Chris Jericho d. Intercontinental champion Rey Mysterio in a no holds barred match, rollup -- pin (***). Your winner and NEWWW Intercontinental Champion and now the NINE time IC champ... and the greatest IC champ of all time dammit... Jericho! End came when Jericho counterered the 619 by stripping Rey of his mask and pinning him with a rollup. Great ending as I thought Rey was going to win after he smacked Jericho with the chair. The crowd was into it and it was good back and forth match-up.

CM Punk d. Umaga in a Samoan strap match, Punk got the GTS on Umaga -- hit the final turnbuckle (**). This show has been ridiculosuly Smackdown heavy so far (not that I'm complaining, Raw has sucked, though I do like Raw's beating on senior citizens). Anyways, this is my most hated stipulation; confusing for the audience and just very dull. Kind of like TNA's matches. Anyhoo, this was a pretty boring match; kind of a downer after Jericho-Mysterio. Surprisingly, the crowd was more into Umaga than Punk.

Meanwhile, Gregory Helms (why is Hurricane doing the interview?! What's up with dat?!) is backstage with Christian. Xian says he's going to miss Tommy Dreamer, then Dreamer cuts in and says Xian will not be the ECW Champion, then Jack Swagger cuts in, but Christian and Dreamer just walked away when Swagger started talking. LOL @ the Swagger diss. I always wanted someone to walk away like that.

Tommy Dreamer d. ECW champion Christian & Jack Swagger in a Hardcore match, DDT -- pin Swagger (**). WWE put the last remaining 5 ECW fans in the front row as Dreamer went straight to them after he won. Anyways, this is Dreamer's  first title in like a gazillion years, aside from some throwaway Hardcore title runs. This is also his longest reign as ECW Champ. He's earned that second third slice of cake. Speaking of which, I guess they're going to have to break out the old Mark Henry belt extensions for Tommy.

Santina d. Vickie in a hog pen match to become Miss Wrestlemania, rollup -- pin (DUD). The filler/bathroom break and if this match follows Santina's Raw ratings, this might be the first PPV match to lose buys. Why is this even on pay per view anyway?! And they wonder why Smackdown is the better show. This is what I don't like about WWE; the stupid soap opera 'funny' matches. Shame, Chavo is a clown now. Speaking of which, those pigs were scared when Chavo got tossed over the fence. Sadly, this goes on longer than the first few matches of the night.

Meanwhile, Chavo and Vickie Guerrero run into Goldust and Hornswoggle. Goldust asks her to sign a paper and launches into a torrettes spasm. Ok, tourettes Goldust is pretty awesome.

Batista d. WWE champion Randy Orton in a cage match, powerbomb -- pin (*1/2). Both guys delivered a turkey of a cage match that was over quick. Big Dave just roided up and won clean. So far, the longest match of the night has been the Hog Pen match.

John Cena d. The Big Slowww in a submission match, STF -- submission (**). Once again, it's up to Edge to save the PPV. Anyways, I don't need to know Show's ring and shoe size everytime he wrestles. We get it, he's the largest athlete in the world and it's physically impossible for C-na to make him submit. Cena tries to overcome teh odds, but the odds are too big! Then again, Cena has ALWAYS shown indomitable spirit and heart when it has mattered most! So, if anyone can do the impossible, Cena can! OMG! Cena once again showed his superhuman ability to overcome the odds! It's a miracle! Cena inspires the world again! Wait... I just heard breaking news that Palestine state has been approved!! Iran is selling their atomic bombs to buy Kittens and flowers.

Jeff Hardy d. World champion Edge in a ladder match, Jeff yanked Edge's whole body in between two of the rungs -- retrieves the title (***1/2). Sweet Jesus, did there REALLY need to be about 30 ladders out there?! And what's the deal with the champions coming out first nowadays? Anyways, both may have snapped their careers in half, BAH GAWD! End came when Edge went for a spear and Jeff mid-airs a Twist of Fate! This was a GREAT match as Smackdown's roster delivered in tonights show.

CM Punk d. Smackdown champion Jeff Hardy, two GTS's -- pin (DUD). PUNK WINS!!! PUNK WINS!!! PUNK WINS!!! Holy crap! Punk cashed in! Money in the Bank, son! Punk is now a 2 time champ. Smackdown saves show again! Hardy just had the shortest world title reign probably ever. And one can only hope this means a Punk heel turn as it looked like Edge was starting to go face earlier on. I want WWE to bring back the "Better than you" gimmick.

Final Thoughts: Action action action! Five title changes in one night! Nobody's got more surprises and twists and turns than us! This was the greatest night in the history of Nitro~! *guitar* WWE really needs a crusier tag belt to fully complete the evolution to 2000 WCW.

About the Author

The MMA and Pro-Wrestling Blog Webmaster - Wrestling. MMA. Pop culture. UK Football. Welcome aboard.

MMA PW is your alternative MMA/pro wrestling news and opinions website. A little wrestling. A little MMA. A little soccer. Then, a little political/social commentary. Fun for the whole family!

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